How Do You Want to Live Your Life? : Free to Be Me!

I took a little bit of a break from the blog. It was time to do a check in and see where I was with the blogging and the ideas I was sharing. I love all the articles I have shared. There was one piece still not feeling quite right. I feel it was my own authenticity and vulnerability. I shared more from an overview of a topic or I put pressure on myself to write something, rather than allowing what was happening in my life in the moment to be shared and explored.

Free to be Me!

These new posts may be short, they may be long, and they are going to come from what I am experiencing in my life in the moment. Others learn the most through the sharing of our experiences and stories. Not because I'm an expert in some topic, only an expert of my own life. Interesting, because I don't even feel I'm an expert in my own life, but it is the one I know and the one I can share.

Choices

So being me in the moment, there is a lot going on and it's exciting. I will be taking Erik's Last name and we are doing it in a non-normative way. We have been together for over a year and what we have experienced is and has been nothing short of miraculous to me. The resonance we feel together has provided us with deep Love, Truth, Authenticity and Vulnerability with each other. That was the choice we made, to be full out authentically real with each other and to tell the truth no matter how difficult it may be. This is not always the easiest thing to do as all of my wounds came up.

• If I tell him, will he leave? (Abandonment)

• If I tell him, will he leave? (Safety and Security)

• If I tell him, will he leave? (Unworthiness)

I can go on with some more, and I'm trusting you get the idea and have had similar experiences. If I tell the truth, he may not,_________________________(fill in the blank).

This time we chose to do relationship differently. To authentically be who we are and vulnerable enough to do it. This takes a level of bravery, and it is so worth it for me. We listen to what the other has to say and then really listen to hear where it is coming from. Is it from a childhood wound, lies told in the past, protection to stay safe. When we listen with different ears, we have an opportunity to REALLY HEAR what is being said. Once we hear, then we stay curious and explore WHY?

So CHOICE point. How do we want to express our relationship. We are ALL IN, as this is a Sacred Union that has formed and chosen, So, where was the request for a new level coming from? We chose to begin combining our lives and as we were moving through the process, we went to open a new bank account. I fussed with it night after night, not because I didn't want to do it, because there was a piece that didn't feel right to me. BTW: we went to the bank and because I didn't have the same address on my ID (I had an Arizona address) as his is in Minnesota, they wouldn't let us do it together. So then, it was time to see where things weren't fully in resonance. I asked Erik why he thought that happened and it was clear to him that I wasn't quite ready to make the move to Minnesota. I knew in my heart, it was because I was still carrying the last name of my former marriage (I didn't go back to my maiden name) and maybe I wasn't fully ready to move? I appreciated his feedback. I felt as thought I was muddying the waters by bringing my former husbands name into our creations. It did not feel resonant. We then began discussing what does feel resonant: Do I go back to my maiden name, use a completely different name, or use his last name? We took time and felt into it. I even has A.I. break down all the possibilities and in the end I felt most resonant with having the same last name as Erik. He was honored and even shed some tears, AHHHHH! You can say it! It has changed so much for both of us as we feel like we have created a stronger resonance with each other. It isn't a traditional marriage as both of us feel that isn't the route for us. It is to bond and honor that bond as a partnership, not just a relationship. I am free to be me, we are free to be us!

Free to Be Me!

There are many ways to do life...We took time to see if there was resistance to getting marriage license because of our previous relationships? We took a deep dive to explore that one and felt inside our bodies, that not getting a license felt more like we are at CHOICE in our partnership rather than what the state has to say, or society or family or church. We choose each other!

Gayle Lynn and Erik

My hope is for those that find this blog post, to find something that assists you in your journey!

Namasté,

Gayle Lynn